Off to College Advice

  1. Get a roommate with a car.
  2. Go to class… even the 8am classes. Cramming all night before a test is not easier than going to class all semester.
  3. Bring enough underwear to make it through to fall break.
  4. It’s a fresh start. Be who you want to be.
  5. The friendships you form in college will be among the richest you’ll ever have. Keep an open mind when meeting those around you.

40th Birthday

  1. Start stocking up on aspirin. Mornings won’t get easier.
  2. One step closer to black socks with shorts!
  3. Don’t cover those greys! You’re just beginning to look smart!
  4. Soon, you’ll be able to start using the phrase “when I was young….”
  5. Check yourself out in the mirror. It took you 40 years to look THIS good!

18th Birthday

  1. As Peter Parker said in Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility.” So exercise your freedom with maturity.
  2. Flaunt your driving license, and exercise your right to vote.
  3. When you get your first car, wear your seatbelt!!!

21th Birthday

  1. Make sure a friend takes a picture after every shot. A wonderful transformation takes place and it needs to be archived.

Children’s Birthday

  1. Think of something you did this year that you are proud of.
  2. Make a list of things you want to try in the next year.
  3. Make a birthday crown today.
  4. Since you will be getting new toys, let’s pick out some toys you can donate.

Wedding Shower

  1. Adam, Get a good feel of those silky smooth legs under the covers. Once you put a ring on it, watch out! You’re gonna get cut!
  2. Greg, leave the cap off the toothpaste today. It’s one of the last days you’ll get away with it.
  3. Anne, its girl’s night out tonight! Grab Julie, Michelle and Alyce for a little last hurrah!
  4. Nancy and Dave, remember that tomorrow is not the last day, but the beginning of your life together as Mr. and Mrs. Davis. Today, forget the stress and just relish the anticipation.
  5. Lisa and Jason, write each other a love note and hide it in a place it will be found.

Retirement

  1. Surround yourself with your children and grandchildren, and tell them tales of the yesteryears.
  2. Make a plan to check off something from your bucket list.
  3. “Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.” Harry Emerson Fosdick
  4. Relive the magical moments of life even while you look forward to new experiences.

Baby Shower

  1. Amy and Chris, Saturday Date Night. Go to a romantic restaurant with candles, white tableclothes and NO kids menu.
  2. Sarah, go get a pedicure and then pamper your feet with a new pair of walking shoes. You need to look stylish while walking Keenan.
  3. Jim, Watch an uninterrupted football game. Hell, sit in front of the TV all day, only to get up for a beer.
  4. Chris, Prepare a gourmet dinner for Amy and take a LONG time to eat it. Savor each bite.
  5. Jennifer, take a 30-40 minute shower and remember to shave your legs… It will be awhile before those legs of yours will be without stubble!

Christmas Countdown for Kids

  1. Write your letter to Santa and mail it.
  2. Let’s bake some Christmas cookies for the neighbors.
  3. Enjoy an old fashioned tradition and string popcorn for the tree.
  4. Review all of the words to some Christmas carols and get the whole family in the Christmas spirit by singing them around the house.
  5. Donate some of your toys that you have out grown. There are many younger kids that would enjoy playing with them.

Christmas Countdown for Mom

  1. Untangle the Christmas lights. Now take a nap.
  2. Buy gifts for a needy family in the community.
  3. Tonight, Skip the milk – Santa would probably appreciate a glass of wine.
  4. On Dasher, On Dancer, On Prancer,….. Off to the Internet to remember the rest!
  5. Make an early New Years’ resolution to start Christmas shopping earlier next year.

Family Vacation

  1. Make a scavenger hunt for the kids, this should keep them occupied while you sit down and read some quick tid bits in a gossip magazine.
  2. Don’t forget to pack your sense of humor.
  3. Make an autograph book for all your favorite characters to sign.
  4. Draw a picture of the sand castle you are going to build.
  5. Make a list of things you want to do on our trip.